Celebrating My Parents

...my favorite teachers, advisors, and advocates

This week I will celebrate the birthdays of both my parents who are no longer alive in this

world. On the 8th of August, my mom would have turned 93, and two days later my dad would have been 92 years old.

I particularly celebrate them because they were both not only my first teachers but my best ones—and I was fortunate enough to have some great ones. I remember many of the lessons they first taught me, but I primarily remember their “rules”, which I still attempt to follow.

I remember being on family vacation in Mexico City walking down a busy boulevard (San Juan de Letrán), and I decided to play a prank on my parents. Being five years old, I thought it would be funny to hide behind some sidewalk kiosk, so I let go of my mom’s hand and ran to hide. For the next five minutes, my parents frantically searched around the kiosk, asked other pedestrians and shop owners if they’d seen me. Traveling to a city with 7 million inhabitants from a small community like Laredo, Texas, I can only imagine what went through their minds. When I laughingly skipped out from behind the kiosk, my frightened, tearful mother hugged me and explained that they thought I’d been kidnapped. I received a stern lecture from my dad about never again playing a prank such as that one.

Although my mother was the one who let go of my hand, nonetheless, my father accepted the responsibility for “his failure.” He explained that he was accountable for the care of his family. “This was all my fault,” he said. That “teachable moment” was the greatest lesson regarding personal responsibility that I’ve ever learned. I have learned since then that the practice of personal responsibility is the mark of a great leader.

It appears that in our times, the concept of personal responsibility has been diminished, if not eviscerated. We have created a victim culture in which people who can’t hold a job blame not themselves, but their demanding supervisors, their peers, or their poor upbringing. Of course, according to them, “racism in the workplace” may sometimes be the culprit.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our loved ones is the ability to take charge of their

lives. We can teach them this lesson from an early age. We can introduce our children to

heroes from history who taught us to accept responsibility. In addition to history, great

literature (or even bedtime stories) can introduce them to these lessons. At an early age, children can help around the house by keeping their bedrooms tidy, setting the table, or washing dishes.

A little reinforcement along the way can go a long way. I remember that as a high school student, I borrowed the principal’s office phone to call my dad because I’d forgotten a completed essay at home. I requested that my dad deliver the essay to my school so that I could avoid being docked a letter grade. My dad—who to this day remains the most loving man that I’ve ever known—responded by saying that it is a sign of maturity to accept the consequences of our own mistakes. He was merely reinforcing the lesson of personal accountability that I’d learned as a five-year-old.